I thought I’d dealt with most of my body image issues before I started dating my current boyfriend. My boyfriend weighs over 300 pounds, and one of the things I appreciated right away is that he didn’t hesitate to call himself “fat.” Why would he? That alone was startling to me, having dated my share of men and women who were far from accepting of their bodies.But during the three years we’ve been together, he’s taught me a lot about size, fatness and self-care. I’d like to say I’ve always shared this level of both candor and comfort with my curves, but that’s not true.The fact that he knows I have trigger foods, like potato chips, means he won’t leave them in the house, but also that when I do have a binge eating episode, he is kind about it.Rather than berating me, he lets me talk it out and devise ways to not go down that path next time.
Just as he doesn’t get on my case when I stray from my overall healthy eating, I don’t try to tell him what to put in his mouth.
I can get so hung up on a clothing size that I’ll buy a less flattering but lower number to make myself feel better.
I’ve even shied away from attending events when I felt I was simply “too fat” to fit into any of my clothes.
I didn’t know it was possible to differentiate those two, since I’d always experienced comments about any weight gain as a negative.
We live in such a looks-focused world that those became intertwined in my head, and that’s a dangerous outlook because it leads to me wanting to stay in bed all day when I feel “ugly” or “heavy.” He’s able to navigate that fine line of helping without butting in because he knows my body issues are more complicated than his.