For as long as there have been relationships there have been bustups.
“Human beings are sexual, emotional and relational,” says Stephen Giles, a couples counselor and social worker in Toronto. I have a lot of friends, which is wonderful, but to be with a man at that level is something else altogether.
After that, she went into the dating thing whole hog. If she was going to have a guy stay over, it would only be when her kids weren’t around.
When Fiona brought home her first date to meet her children, her kids just stared across the table at him, chewing their hamburgers in silence. But that was problematic, she says, “because sometimes my ex-husband would bring them back in the middle of the weekend because they’d forgotten something.
Now there’s so much more to think about.” If the kids don’t like the person (and most of them won’t, says Fiona), you have an added pressure.
“A lot of times your kids will hate the guy simply because he’s dating you.” It’s just as tricky if they like your new squeeze.
But when I dropped him off later (he had no car), he admitted he was a renter, and that he’d paid that much toward his apartment over the years. The rules defining the game were essentially the same, but the players might as well have been parachuted in from a different sport.
The happier and more balanced we are, the better we’re going to be for our child,” she says.
Which brings us to single dad Frank*, and his current status along the dating-parent trajectory.
One such challenge is the guilt of dating, and the weight it brings to bear on our perception of our entitlement to a healthy relationship.
“A lot of times women will feel badly about going out and having their own life and leaving their child at home,” Desiree says.