They’d even met each other’s friends and planned a day trip out of the city together the next day.He sent her a text saying he was on his way to her apartment to pick her up.Of all the maladies that afflict our relationships, commitment-phobia, or the fear of commitment is one that consistently wreaks havoc on our ability to have healthy unions.The reasons cited for why men don’t commit are what we’ve (cue Sunshine Anderson) “heard it all before”: “I only want to get married once…I don’t want to make a mistake.” “I’m too focused on my career right now to even think about the next step.” “Why you gotta rock the boat?His act is to convince you to “tie him up” in a commitment, from which he then immediately breaks free by disappearing.One day he’s blowing up your phone nonstop and the next you can’t get him to respond to your texts or calls.He’s alive and well, and very often already in the arms of another partner (because what’s a better way to escape one relationship than to throw yourself into another one?
He does not want to deal with the reality of day to day issues.
The Magician pulls his disappearing act because he knows that he pushed you to emotionally or sexually commit to him and now he doesn’t want to reciprocate.
Any positive feelings he has about you have been overshadowed by his overwhelming sense of panic about the relationship.
People like to blame our low marriage rates on socioeconomic factors such as the high number of incarcerated Black men or the educational disparity between Black men and women.
But could the real reason be more emotionally driven?