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A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.
NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?
Pick something specific she wrote about herself, and ask her a follow-up about it.
If nothing else, she’ll admire the fact that you took the time to “get to know” her.
Instead, channel your energy into meeting someone else. A general rule: once you’ve sent four messages back and forth, someone should ask someone out — preferably the man. [pagebreak] PRESSURE COOKERThe scenario: “I was really into someone I went on a few dates with, until he told me he was taking down his online dating profile and he wanted me to do the same.” — Jess, 34 The problem..the solution: Nothing will scare a girl faster than putting that kind of pressure on her too early into the relationship.
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By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.
GAMBLERThe scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.