Being a trans person and trying to date on or offline can be downright exhausting. Trans people, trans people of color, disabled trans people, fat trans people, etc. Check out the dictionary description of “fetish,” and you’ll find that it’s sexual attachment to an object.Sorry if my language comes across as harsh, but I have every right to ask that the people who contact me are respectful, value consent, and are, like I try to be, aware of their own privileges. Well, turns out trans people, people of color, disabled folks, and fat folks are not objects! The people I find sexiest are those who are down to include me in their sexuality without making a big deal about it or obsessing over how my body is different from a cis person’s body. Conversely, I’m not into trans people, people of color, disabled folks, fat folks, femmes, etc. There are systems of oppression in place that shape our attraction to different groups of people.They make it seem like we transitioned from one fixed thing to another fixed thing or that we haven’t always been the gender we know ourselves to be.
If you’re a man who’s into men and women (transgender or cisgender) and people who identify outside of the binary, then bisexual, queer, pansexual, or whatever else might be the right label for you. I’ve always wanted to be with “a trans.” Good god, where do I start?If you say ‘no' to an invitation, he may well think you're playing hard to get and will probably persist.If you really aren't interested, then be very clear and tell him politely but firmly (the hints that might work back home, won't work here).There is a veritable abundance of trans pornography on the internet to satisfy your needs; try that instead! I put my pants on one leg at a time, I take my coffee without milk, and I top and bottom like you do.If we’re actually going to hook up, then we can talk logistics like you probably do with your cisgender dates. Try checking out some trans porn on one of your favorite sites before asking a trans person to educate you. I’m not interested, but I want to ask you invasive questions about your life.