I have been online dating for about two months and it’s been so-so thus far. I’m 5’3″ and an hourglass-ish size 10, so while I’m not obese, I’m definitely not “athletic and toned.” I chose pictures that I think accurately show this.
Anyway, at first I listed myself as “A few pounds extra” thinking it was an honest description.
I swear to God, I have heard this complaint every single day for nearly a decade. So let’s play the game I play with my clients on the phone: : Then why would you expect the percentage to be any higher online?
If, by definition, 95% of men are wrong for you, it should be expected that many will be unemployed, uneducated, older and inappropriate. They’re allowed to take a crack at you, and you’re allowed to ignore them. Focus on what you can control – YOU – and let go of what you can’t – MEN.
Let’s start with you, because a) you wrote me the note, and b) you’re an online dating anomaly – an honest size 10 who doesn’t claim to be athletic and toned.
However, after talking to your male co-workers and observing that you’re not being contacted, you have to be asking yourself – is it REALLY in my best interests to tell the truth if 95% of guys are going to dismiss me for doing so?
And when the slightly overweight woman shows up on a date with a man who was expecting “athletic”, both parties are in for a night of disappointment. First of all, I think that’s a problem that’s more in your head than in reality. Still, no matter how much rebranding we do, life is still not going to be fair.The guys who have made contact have been people that I probably would not have dated normally, i.e., no steady job or just a little odd.The good news, Nicci, is that all of the answers can be derived from the same exact technique – flipping things over to consider the other person’s point of view.Men are still largely going to prefer young, thin women.Women are still going to prefer tall, successful men.